Santa Baby
by goldpiece
Summary: Bones is forced to sing at the Jeffersonian Holiday Party. My entry for Cullen's Bull Pen


AN: OKAY, SO THIS ONE MIGHT SEEM FAR FETCHED, BUT I HAD THE IDEA, AND HAD TO FIND A WAY TO EXECUTE IT. I'M GLAD THIS CHALLENGE SUBJECT WAS CHOSEN, BECAUSE IT GAVE ME THE MEANS TO EXECUTE THIS WITHOUT IT BEING TERRIBLY OOC. WITH THAT, PLEASE ENJOY.

"Angela, no, I'm not going." Temperance Brennan rushed up onto the examination platform, her best friend on her heels.

"Sweetie, we've been through this before, and after last year you definitely aren't working."

"I wasn't planning to work, I was planning to be at home and catch up on some reading."

"No, absolutely not, Bren. You're going to the holiday party, and I won't take no for an answer."

"And how exactly, do you plan to pull that off? I'm pretty sure I have to give consent, which I'm not giving."

"I signed you up to perform as a part of the staff entertainment."

"Ange, you had no right."

"Maybe so, but I want to ensure that you won't work, so you'll be singing 'Santa Baby'."

"I don't sing, and I'm not doing it."

"Sweetie, you have to, and anyway, the song's more talking than singing."

"No."

"Come on, don't you want to show Booth that you're definitely more than a guy but not?"

"He's seeing Cam right now."

"Oh my God, you are interested in him, I knew it."

"I am not. Besides, our relationship as friends and partners could be ruined if we were to engage in a romantic tryst."

"Since you're only going to deny that you want to do this, then I'm going to take very drastic, childish measures. I dare you to do the number and kiss him under the mistletoe."

"And jeapordize my job by upsetting Dr. Saroyan? Ange…"

"Nope, you have to."

"If I don't?"

"Then you'll have to dress up like an elf the next time you go out in the field to look at remains."

"That's not fair!"

"It never is. Now, to you, which is worse?"

"Fine," she sighed, "I'll do the song."

"That's the spirit! I promise it'll be fun, and I'll even help you with the outfit."

XxXxX

"Why did we let Angela talk us into this?" Zack Addy asked as he pulled on a pair of green tights. From the other side of the door, Jack Hodgins paced in his Santa costume. His beard, moustache and hair were sprayed white, and his cheeks were rosy from a little bit of rouge that Angela had forced on him.

"Because she just has that ability to make you agree with her. You know she wouldn't have given up if we said no."

"And since you're involved with her, you want to stay on her good side. I look ridiculous."

"That's the point, Zacko," Jack replied, waiting with anticipation as the door swung open. Zack stepped out, complete in his elf costume. He had on green tights, a yellow tunic, red vest that was belted at the waist, pointy black shoes, and a hat that crested up over his forehead.

"Dude, you do look ridiculous."

"Can we just go? I don't relish being dressed like this for longer than absolutely necessary."

"From what I hear, Dr. Brennan has it worse than us. Apparently Angela signed her up to sing."

"But Dr. Brennan doesn't sing."

"Precisely," Jack clapped his hands together with glee. "Man, I can't wait until that little performance."

"I don't think she'll appreciate us laughing at her."

"We won't be laughing at her, we'll be laughing with her."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

XxXxX

Temperance looked at herself in the mirror, somewhat unsure of her appearance, and horrified at the same time. The outfit Angela picked out left very little to the imagination.

"Angela, I can't go out looking like this."

"Sweetie, you look incredible. Booth won't be able to take his eyes off of you."

"I feel so…I can't wear this."

"Bren, why don't you use the same trick you used when you were undercover with Booth? Think Clara Bow, or Marlene Dietrich, or better yet, Marilyn Monroe." Brennan looked back at her reflection. Marlene Dietrich or Marilyn Monroe…she could do that.

"Okay, I'll try it."

"Great. No one's gonna know what hit them. Come on, let's go, and remember," Angela said as she tossed a cloak to Temperance. "No one sees the outfit before you sing. It needs to be a surprise."

"If you say so, Angela."

XxXxX

"What's with the outfit," Booth asked as he met Cam at the Jeffersonian.

"Angela was put in charge of the festivities, and everyone is supposed to dress up in an outfit that symbolizes the holiday to them, so I'm an ice skater."

"So that's why the little skirt and leg warmers? I never was one to use the word cute, but…"

"Cute. So how did you manage to escape a theme costume."

"Probably because I don't work here." Booth went into the main body of the museum to the party. As Booth looked around, he had to hand it to Angela. The girl knew how to set up a gala. Garlands and wreaths adorned the walls, display cases and windows. Strips of bulbs and lights were strung across the ceiling, and a large tree showcased in the center of the room. "Oh man, this I can't resist." In a corner of the large gallery, Jack and Zack posed for pictures with employees and their guests. Booth and Camille made their way over, and joined the line. At its head was Angela, in knee high red and white striped socks with white, fuzzy cuffs, small red shorts with a white shirt and green vest. When she spotted Booth and Camille, she waved and approached.

"Well, happy holidays to the both of you. Seeley, you still owe me that kiss under the mistletoe from last year."

"You didn't manage to get Bones here, did you?"

"Nice evasion there G-man. As a matter of fact, she is here, but she's hiding."

"Hiding, why?"

"It's Bren, and you know how she is about the holidays. Oh, by the way, you know she's performing in the staff entertainment section, right?" Angela watched as Cam began to laugh. Booth simply looked surprised. "What's wrong, you don't think she can do it?"

"How'd you manage that," Booth asked. Angela had definitely piqued his interest. After the fuss she'd made the year before, he was surprised she'd even agreed to do it.

"I can be very persuasive. The performances start in half an hour, so get a good seat. By the way, you're up. Booth, did you want to sit on Santa's knee?"

"Very funny, Angela," Seeley replied as he and Cam stood with the other squints.

"Wait for me!" Everyone turned to see Temperance walking swiftly toward them. Booth was struck by the fact that her hair and clothing were completely covered by a long, white, fur-lined cloak and hood. It was her eyes though that struck him the most. Lined in black, they seemed to smolder from the depths of their color.

"Wow, Bones. You look incredible," he said as she slid in next to him. Though she and Cam were both in white, the contrast between the two was more pronounced than ever. Cam seemed the tough, down to earth way she normally did, though with a frilly skirt and leg warmers, but there was something mysterious about Temperance. Just before the picture of the team was taken, Booth slipped his hand onto Tempe's back, drawing her in slightly closer, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Camille or Angela.

"I'm glad you came Booth," Temperance said quietly as the group dispersed after the picture was taken. "I wouldn't want you to miss the show." As she walked away, seeming to disappear into the crowd, she looked back at him for just a moment and smiled.

"How come you've never looked at me that way, Seeley?" Camille came to stand next to him.

"Don't look at you what way?"

"Never mind," she sighed. As the pair walked away, Angela tried to suppress the happy dance urge. Booth definitely would be ripe for the taking by the nights end. Everything would be far too easy for Temperance.

XxXxX

"Okay everyone," Angela said from the stage. A loud, piercing cat call whistle filled the room, and she just rolled her eyes before continuing. "Next we have a special treat from Dr. Temperance Brennan, but in order for her to perform, I'm gonna need someone to sit in for Santa Claus. Any volunteers?" Angela watched in amusement as half the men in the audience raised their hands. Booth noticed too, and after frowning at the competition, decided to raise his as well. "It looks like Special Agent Seeley Booth is interested. Booth, why don't you come on up here."

"Well this ought to be amusing," Hodgins said to Zack as they watched Booth ascend the stairs and onto the stage. "Dr. Saroyan looks as though she could spit fire right about now."

"With the amount of alcohol she's consumed in the last half an hour, it's entirely possible assuming we had something to start the flame initially," Zack said, slightly unsteady on his feet.

"Hey, who's idea was it to spike the eggnog?"

"Yours, and why do you suppose that Angela gave Agent Booth that mistletoe?"

"Zack, if you have to ask…" Hodgins stopped as Temperance walked out. She was still wearing the long, white cloak, but now she seemed to have added opera length red gloves to the ensemble. Brennan stopped just behind Booth so he couldn't turn to look at her. As the music started, and Angela scurried off of the stage, Tempe began to run a finger down Booth's arm, drawing his attention.

Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me

Temperance leaned down over Booth and pulled off the hood, letting her hair cascade down her shoulders. Booth was transfixed by the color in the silken strands as the red shone like flame under the lights.

I've been an awful good girl, Santa baby

And hurry down the chimney tonight

Tempe walked to stand in front of Booth, her back to him. She grabbed the ties of the cloak, and flung it from her shoulders. As it fell to the floor, everyone gasped. Booth stared, open-mouthed at her. Her boots were black and thigh high, dipping slightly lower on the back of her legs, the skirt brushed the top of her legs, barely concealing what lay underneath. It was red with a furry trim, and the satin corset she wore shaped her in such a way that she practically fell out of it.

Santa Baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue

I'll wait up for you dear, Santa Baby

Hurry down my chimney tonight.

As Tempe performed, Hodgins spared a glance over at Dr. Saroyan. She was seething, both from Brennan's performance, and from Booth's reaction to it. Jack elbowed his little elf buddy and nodded in her direction.

"Dude, if Booth isn't careful, he's gonna find his chestnuts roasting on an open fire."

"I didn't see Agent Booth with anything. Where'd he get chestnuts?"

Think of all the fun I've missed

Brennan leaned in closely to Booth, her lips mere millimeters from his own.

Think of all those fellas that I haven't kissed

Just as Booth began to lean forward, she moved away again, walking behind him and to his other side.

Next year I could be oh, so good

If you'll check off my Christmas list

As she finished the statement, she reached down and made a check mark motion on Booth's chest. He squirmed visibly in his seat.

Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot

I've been an angel all year

Santa baby, so hurry down my chimney tonight

Angela moved to join Hodgins and Zack. She noticed both of them looking back and forth from Temperance to Dr. Saroyan and grinned evilly.

"So you think she's a dismal failure, do you?" Hodgins turned to her and snorted with laughter.

"Right about now, I'm sure Booth would be willing to share his yule log with Dr. Brennan, if you know what I mean."

"I don't know what you mean," commented Zack. Hodgins just rolled his eyes and Angela suppressed a laugh.

Santa cutie, one thing I really do need

The deed to a platinum mine

Santa Baby, so hurry down my chimney tonight

Temperance sat down on Booth's lap, placed one arm around his neck, then traced a line down his torso as she continued.

Santa Baby, fill my stocking with a duplex

And cheques. Sign your 'x' on the line

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

She got up and began to shimmy slightly, every man's attention on her as she continued the number.

Come on and trim my Christmas tree

With some decorations bought at Tiffany's

I really do believe in you, let's see if you

Believe in me too.

Tempe placed her hands on her knees, making a betty boop trademark 'bee doop, bee doop' and leaving Booth nowhere to look but at her shapely backside.

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,

A ring, and I don't mean on the phone

Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight

Brennan spun slightly and dropped to the ground in front of Booth's feet. She placed her arms on his legs and looked him in the eyes.

Hurry down my chimney tonight.

The two stared at each other for a long moment, their gazes locked and oblivious to the audience cheers and cat calls. With a shaking hand, Booth held the mistletoe up over Temperance's head and leaned forward.

In the crowd, Camille let out a disgusted groan and stormed off, not bothering to look as the partner's lips met.

"Well someone's been a good girl this year," Hodgins laughed, but stopped at the look on Angela's face.

"And some of us have been quite naughty."

"Your place or mine," Hodgins gulped. Angela was about to answer when Zack piped in.

"Make it his, because I still need a ride home."


End file.
